an_them

So here is a list of some things I want to accomplish by 2009.
I only have 15 minutes before Grey's Anatomy though..so some may come to mind later.

Things I'm sure I can accomplish:

retake American History and make very good grades in all my classes so I can bring my GPA up to a 3.5. (cummulative GPA)

lose 25lbs and gain muscles

get a well-paying job

stay happy with Guy

Things I think I can accomplish:

choose a research program at school

decide on a master's program

take the GRE

start an internship at a clinic

Things I wish I could accomplish:

move into a little apartment

buy a car (a good car)

try to be closer to my family members outside of my mom.

meet at least one good friend here. (there must be SOMEONE i can relate to in this city)


pretty easy list.

of manhattan. it's quite amusing...especially because I'm trying to translate everything into English and he's talking really fast.
He keeps mouthing "don't laugh" at me..which makes me laugh more.

she's going there soon i guess to get some stuff for the new business.

tonight i had the best salad. almost best of all time. from juan's flying burrito...a jerk shrimp salad with a spicy lime dressing..perfecto!

i also have come to the realization that I will never spell resteraunt correctly.
and i don't care. no longer will i google it for the correct spelling. i've come to terms with it..it will just have to be resteraunt whenever i'm writing..oh well.

speaking of resteraunts...guy wrote to bircan and he said that there are lots of places hiring downtown because mardi gras will soon be upon us. if i had my own place..i would totally rent it out during mardi gras. talk about CASH MONEY.people pay high price for a room...like a month's rent for 2 nights. insane.

so i decided to humor guy and i'll look into exchange programs for new york and my school.
who knows..maybe there is a way to make a painless entry into the new york university world.
we'll see.

kylie came over tonight..she's so cute. i made her touch a moth..and i was totally prepared to hide behind her 2 year old body if it flew at us.
no shame..no shame.

she totally has a cutie crush on my husband. it's adorable.
mom kept saying she wants another one to play with. a baby.
i just laughed..she knows it's not coming from us :D

we have been looking into embassy stuff for guy...our marriage will reach 2 years soon and we have an embassy interview..have to have tax returns..joint accounts..all kinds of proof that we are really married. it's so aggrivating. i always tease and am like..yeah i married you for your money. it's funny b/cause we are so broke lol.
and so in love.

i just hope everything goes ok. i know he wants to move but im not sure it's the best idea with the interview coming up.

in the old days they used to come to your house and check your dirty clothes.
i wish they would do that now..it would be easier.
tata for now.

but i feel the need to jot down a few things before i run off to dinner with my parents.

first, guy made it back from new york after a two week stretch where he auditioned and took lessons. he wants to move there. no new news there except that he WILL move there. asap.

second..during those two weeks i was supposed to have a nonstop writing festival of the soul..i did not.

i did take finals..i have two grades back so far.
turkish-A
statistics -A
so far so good..four more classes to go.
i anticipate
another A, 2 B's and a C.

so i'm looking for a job now..the one i had, well the resteraunt closed down.
guy is also about to be looking for a job. he says he wants to be a waiter.
this is what artists with masters degrees end up doing until they get made.
take notes, future artists of america.

i don't know when he will move but i'm leaving the option open for him.
he wants me to come with but i can't find a cheap school there..and i don't think it's a great time to uproot myself. i'm so close to the finish line i feel like if i just keep on trucking a bit more i'll make it and then things will fall into place.

his mom started a business today in his name. instant credit for us. great news.

other than that..just kind of in limbo. the few paperthin friends i had fell apart when i got tired (after a week) of going to gay clubs with them. i need something real. still havent found it but i'm still looking. i know there is someone here i can relate to. and if not, well, ill just hit the books.

Finals!!
yay, so in retrospect...let me dissect this year.
I have A's in all my classes except my biology classes. lab and lecture, ugh, i have a B in lab and a C in lecture.
I'll have to do well on my finals in those particular classes.
My current GPA is only 2.6..that's from my previous years.
I actually failed a class..a history class that I hated, omg anyone ever forced to take american history should just move to another country, live there for a few years, gain citizenship and take their history instead..because it is that boring.
serious.
i didn't fail because i did badly on the exams..i failed because i never withdrew from the stupid thing.
anyway so that brought my GPA wayyy down.
So the next few semesters I must get A's so I can get into a graduate school.

I'm a bit nervous about my Turkish exam..mostly because we have never had an exam in that class yet, and this one is cummulative, and it covers all the dialogues in the 7lb monstrosity we call a textbook, and he hasn't given us a guide or anything, or even a date, which is a bit ridiculous because finals start this week coming.
I don't think he understands that exactly.

Next semester I'm taking 19 hours. I'll have a few more difficult classes..my schedule looks something like this:

Motivation and Emotion: psych 2000 lvl
Research Psychology: psych 2000 lvl lecture and lab
Organic Biology lecture
Organic Biology Lab
Introduction to Fiction (yawn..yes i know..but i only have to take one of these.)
Trigonometry..(again, only one of these)
Intermediate Turkish

and that's it.
I wish I could take more Psych classes but they have prerequisites, mostly that Research class. Need to get it out of the way; next semester I will be a Junior (fucking AAAAAAAA) and I'll knock them out of the way :D

Turgay is leaving for New York on Monday for two weeks. And while I will miss him, it will be easy to study and get my finals out of the way with him out of the house. I could use the break also..I want to write and do some things by myself.
Having someone around constantly can be a lovely pain.

im so tired, i want to do absolutely nothing, yet the universe keeps on throwing responsible things at me that it wants me to complete like yesterday.
i just want to relax, please, one day.
rest, nothing to do,
fuck it,
im going take a bath.

burns my feet as they touch the ground..
good day sunshine..
the beatles are so silly.
but fun.
well i want to be in a sad mood but my random music won't allow.
now csn and y is singing "carry on..love is coming to us all.."
i mean how can you be sad with that on.

so my mom told me what she is getting me for christmas. she didn't want to but it was funny the way it came out.
i told her i wanted a tent BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO CAMPING IN THE NEXT MONTH OR I WILL DIE..SERIOUSLY.
( n my stupid sister lost my tent)
anyway she was like...uh but i wanted to get u something else so im like, okay whatever
n she was like...but i never get you something you like so just tell me, what would you like more a tent or a record player or..n then i screamed and was like,..omg a record player i would love that and she got all mad because she told me.
it was cute.
mom is cute sometimes.
omg and so funny..she tried to do her cabinets in her kitchen...poor lady the screws are all crooked but she's so proud.
im just like..er if you want my help to fix it, call me :P
now she's redoing ths floors ><

kylie will come over tonight..i cant wait to see her she's soooo cute.
the stuff that comes out of her two year old mouth is incredible.
so i really miss my dad soooo much lately..his prescence in my life was so important to me..
it sucks man..this time of year we would take these beautiful rides in his car n listen to music while he would play his harmonica..he would always introduce me to some great new music.
i havent discovered much on my own since he's been gone..its sad.
really really miss him tons.

oh god my music player wants me to jam to some pearl jam.
i think ill have to pass atm.
alright delirium silence.

i started working out at the gym at school..its really nice..like state of the art stuff.
n free.
school is a bit hectic.
oh god that reminds me i have to schedule tomorrow night at midnight..i should get that together today.
its always something..i just want to sleep dammit.
like for two weeks.
the restaurant i was working at closed down yesterday. last night was the last night.
we had a lil party thing and tried to put a dent in the alcohol and we cooked a lot of the food...
my boss, bircan will have alcohol to last him a year, seriously.
now i have to find another lil job.


'HEAVEN HOLDS A SENSE OF WONDER, N I WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT ID GET CAUGHT UP, WHEN THE RAGE IN ME SUBSIDES..IN THIS WHIRLWIND, I AM SINKING, IN THIS SILENCE, IN THIS WIRLWIND, IN THIS SILENCE I BELIEVE.."
i frakin love sarah.

Is my first night working...I'm totally freaked.
I only "trained" for like 3 hours..meaning i followed the waitress around while she did stuff.
Ok, it's waitressing,...most of it is basic. take orders...try to answer questions and add up the bill correctly.
i'm just nervous because i don't know where everything is yet, i don't know how to use the register to get change, i don't know the table numbers, i'm not used to it.
oh yeah, and i hate waitressing. i suck at it.
i had three waitressing jobs in my life. The last two i had...one ended in me getting fired and the other ended with me calling the police on the owner for throwing a table at me.
so yeah, bad track record.
however..
this place is extrememly casual. i can wear whatever i want...the owner is turkish, so that's cool.
the biggest plus side is that i'll be taking home cash every day.
that's what's going to make it worthwhile.
i KNOW i'm going to screw up. I KNOW i'm going to get orders wrong tonight, forget to bring lemons or whatever, forget silverware,...forget to clean tables...get the table numbers and orders wrong.
i guess i just have to expect the worst and hope for the best.
the owner will be there to help me tonight which kinda makes me more nervous. i do better on my own when i know someone isn't looking over my shoulder.

in other news..
my aunt wants to lend me a lot of money. i don't know why...she just decided to. she told my mom. i asked my mom if i could pay her back slowly, like a little each month and my mom said she probably won't make you pay her back.
so...
i'm thinking of getting guy a piano. he's having a bit of trouble with his job...not enough hours, and spending a lot of gas going all the way to another city to practice on his work's piano every day. i figure this way he can do some private lessons and also practice at home,..that way it makes sharing a car a lot easier.

tomorrow night we are going out for like the first time in a year, hallelujah.
the woman he's been trying to meet to be his teacher at the new orleans opera, carol rouche is having a concert at the rusty nail(formerly the mermaid lounge, which i frequented in my youth) so we will go and they can meet, inshallah.
i'm totally psyched...life is tre boring with school n limited friends.

thinking whether i should spend the money to fix the car door and paint the car though...
im not sure whether it will pass inspection in april with the front driver side door stuck like it is. it just won't open.
they quoted me like over a thousand to fix it, the bastards.
actually my mechanics are really lovely guys..just expensive. but if they fix it..it doesnt break again.

Which is totally cool, as long as they remain flexible around my school schedule.
gonna be a bit hard shuffling the car...
but i'll be making cash every day so that's super nice.

I know that it's not the right reason to vote for someone, but I just cannot in good faith vote for another white republican male.
That's it, that's the meat and fat of it...I just can't. It's beyond me.
I cannot vote for someone who has no idea what it is like being middle or lower class. This is a big one. He owns like what? 7 houses? And I'm not sure where I'm going to get money for gas today. I mean it's a different world he's coming from....and I cannot identify with a rich, white man in his 60s. He has nothing to offer me.
I can't vote for someone who doesn't represent some form of change from the shitstorm we are currently engulfed in.
And I can't vote for someone who has no chance of winning.
These are the reasons why I will vote for Senator Obama.

Nothing to do with his policies..all to do with Mccain. Palin scares me. I think she is stupid also. I don't like her at all.
Maybe Obama is just a symbol for change, and won't be able to deliver. But maybe he will. He is an intelligent man who came from a middle-class diverse ethnic background. Even a symbol for change is better than none.

Not a day passes where I don't almost get run down by some young guy trying to pass through a door or hallway.
What happened to these guys? Didn't their parents teach them some respect for women?
I feel very, very sorry for unmarried young women.
I don't see how you will ever find a man who respects you and shows that if these are the men you have to choose from.

I got the pharyngitis!!


Not really, just the flu i guess.

In good news, there is a really nice clinic in new orleans who provides healthcare based on income. I think this is frackin awesome, because we all know healthcare should be free to the people.

We paid 20 dollars. I'm a student married to an artist, this was fair.

And we spent more time with the doctor there than I have ever spent with a doctor in a "normal" doctor's office. Most of the time they don't even look you in the eyes. This doctor came to us twice and talked to us about all kinds of things.

So, yay for that.

Guy think's he has pharyngitis because he can no longer sing. Well no shit, the flu can be a bitch on your throat also.
I think he's overreacting as usual, but when it comes to his voice...I can't argue any point because it's his life.

My anthropology test was postponed. that rocks..i was totally not looking forward to studying 7 lectures and taking an online test this weekend with the flu.
god loves me.
i think it's karma for calling every hospital and doctor in range yesterday trying to find a good place to treat guy.

i wrote a message to my biology teacher and asked her to pass out the roll towards the end of class. these aggrivating lazy students keep signing the roll at the beginning and then leaving. i can tell it aggrivates her but she's one of these people who believe in the general goodness of people and hopes that most of us will rise above that behavior.
i suggested that she just wait till the end of class instead..i hope she does, because it's really unfair to the rest of us who suffer through biology.

i took my first tests this week. my biology lab tests are hard....only like 10 questions..i missed one question the first test and made a 90 :(. I know I missed two or three on the second one even though i studied really hard for it. I talked to the teacher after class, Dr. Dew. He said to ask him next time because I'm getting caught up on terminology..not that I don't know the answers, I just get tricked because I think too much about how he's asking them. He also told me that I wouldn't make a C if I'm this worried about my grade. Last time I heard that I ended up in regular English class in high school bored out of my mind.
I don't know..he seems like a stand up guy though. he can only be a few years older than me at the most also.
My sex teacher also is only like 33 years old. I had mentioned something about my husbands cultural beliefs in class and when I was handing in her test she asked me what he thought about what we talked about.She didn't ask anyone else anything.
Maybe cause we are almost the same age, I don't know.

Jaime, this girl in my turkish class, married this rich turkish guy because he bought her a mercedes. now she's 21 and they have a baby together and i think she's really a lesbian (mostly because she told me she's really a lesbian) and whatever, she's a bit nuts, she's supposedly applying for an internship for the cia, going to saudi arabia this january and learning arabic so she can be a spy. and she obviously thinks my turkish teacher is hot. (Selen..she's a girl). whatever, it's ok but all of it together is a bit hard to swallow. not to mention she's like the sweetest person i ever met..i totally cannot see her being a spy. unless that's like, her front....
regardless, her and her 35 year old husband own a resteraunt and she told me i can work there if i need extra cash. so that might solve the job dilemma for awhile.
i hope so cause i'm in dire need of a new wardrobe.

Selen invited me to istanbul to visit her when she goes back. i would grab onto any opportunity to go back to turkey. i seriously need to visit so badly, i miss dilek so much it hurts.
it's too hard to be friends long distance.
i mean you don't know the day to day things that happen..like you can't talk about feelings and boys and work and such because you don't know those people. i mean these are the things friendship is made of. do i love her? yes with all my heart, i'm sure she loves me also, but what do we have to talk about except the past, bah it sucks monkey balls. i still love my friends here and i don't talk to them that much unfortunately.
anyway, plans for this weekend include watching the season premiere of heroes season 3 with guy..i was supposed to go to the resteraunt to check it out but i think i'm going to pass..feel like crap.
gonna study for my postponed anthro exam and biology next week.
marion and cody are coming to spend the night and go out in new orleans...

oh i woke up crying last night because i had this dream that guy took dustin and cody into this cave full of snow to try to get them to get rid of their pot (in my dream they were visiting us and they brought like a pound of weed) by reasoning with them about how stupid they will be when they are like 24 and still smoking weed, how they will be huge losers, whatever and in my dream cody put guy in a headlock, and left him neck deep in the snow without shoes or socks. in my dream guy got out or whatever but he had frost bite on his big toe and he had to loose it. i was crying at the doctors office and i remember how angry i was because noone knew about it except for me and i wanted cody and dustin to pay....guy woke me up at this point because i was crying "no, no".

then i had this dream where i was in love with this guy who was married to an indian lady who loved to like, camp and fish. they had all these kids, and in this dream they had this really great strand of marijuana and we were all smoking it. and i remember i kept expecting to feel paranoid (which is a major reason why i don't smoke pot, besides the fact that i think it makes you passive and lazy) but i didnt.

Then i had a dream where i saw andy lassaigne. probably because i was thinking about him last night before i went to sleep..i wonder what happened to him..i haven't heard anything about him since high school. i tried to find him on facebook and myspace to no avail. anyway in my dream he was selling beer for budweiser and he had this beautiful very tall girlfriend who was a modern dancer. Then chris eaton was in my dream and i was asking him if he really wanted to move to chattanooga with shannon and he said no, but he didn't want to hurt her.

i wonder why i had two dreams about marijuana. weird.
maybe because a few days ago i was talking to casey about how guy and i can't hang out with any of my old friends because they always light up when we chill. then we have to leave...can't even have the possiblility of him being arrested, he will lose his citizenship.
plus, i hate it when i'm sober and i'm around high people, they start talking about stupid crap and it's retarded.
casey agreed.

also maybe because when i think of cody and dustin, i think of big pot heads.
bah i don't like the choices my sisters have made for their partners.
they are soo young, they don't even know any better.

..in walks Casey Hebert. One of my very best friends from high school and one of the only people from high school I can still be around and not have all these feelings of disillusioned expectations about who we were and who we are now.
He's gay. And he's like a brother. We have screamed and laughed and cried together and he stalked me for two weeks and got my phone number from some artsy friend I met in college a long time ago who keeps calling me and I keep ignoring (because he once tried to kiss me in a darkroom and yeah, it still freaks me out.)
He told Casey "I have Jenny's number, but she's married and she was supposed to marry this one guy but instead she married this other guy"
I'm like, great, he's telling people my life story? wth. I didn't even tell him that.
anyway distracted.
He called me and we spent the day together and I feel like a breath of fresh social air has finally entered my life. The pickings here are slim, even though I live in the same freakin neighborhood as 4 of my best friends from childhood and high school....like I said, the expectations..it's too much to see them. And it's really kinda Stephen King scary that we all ended up in New Orleans in the same little neighborhood...since we are originally from Houma Louisiana.
Yep, Casey lives in the neighborhood too. It's like fuckin summerfield all over again.
anyway,...he lives in this GORGEOUS house..his gay friend owns a modeling company and he's loaded..it's like this mansion and casey has a part of the house that has been converted into a very beautiful apartment..and they have this swimming pool.
Swimming pools always amaze me in New Orleans because you never see them from the street so they are like this wonderful surprise.

So yeah, I'm looking forward to wine and dine by the pool nights. Guy said all gay men fall in love with him, I'm sure they will be impressed and I'm not denying it, he's gorgeous but I really don't care. It's funny when you get to this point where you are like...oh well if he leaves me he leaves me, I mean not cause you don't love him but because you are mature enough to know that you can't ever have control over another person's feelings and life.
You can only be the best partner you can be and hope it is enough.
Guy doesn't like guys at all though. I only point that out because I have had ex boyfriends who were into guys also. In fact, I found out today that Casey slept with one of them awhile back. No biggie, I saw that coming a mile away...they had more chemistry than we did.
Anyway, distracted.


I applied for two jobs today. I didn't want to apply for whole foods but if both Casey and Brandon work there and if they both have college degrees, I won't feel so bad working there also.
God, I hope I don't finish College and have to work at whole foods.
Everyone is becoming a nurse b/c they can't do squat with their college degrees. Crazy. I guess I'm screwed because I faint when I see blood.

Anyway, I also decided I'm not going to my high school reunion next year unless it's romi and michelle style.

stupid british fucks needed to give him the million.

Yep.
I'm going to apply for a job taking care of disabled people like from 8 pm till 8 am on the weekends. i can do that because school owns my ass during the week and i'm married, so it's not like i go anywhere on the weekends.
my club-hoppin days are over i'm afraid.
so yeah, as long as i don't have to change any diapers...should be a cool job, they will be sleeping most of the time anyway.

Today was the first day of fall.
And it actually felt like it for awhile, before the hot louisiana sun had it's way with us.
I felt a breeze. I did.
I used to have this wiccan boyfriend. Among the many strange things he would do (which maybe aren't appropriate for this entry), he would go to "worship" or celebration ceremonies when the seasons change.
It makes me smile to think of him, out there, naked, fornicating under a fall leaf or something.

So a funny typical Jenny thing happened at school. They had this thing in the Quad where you could go and sign up for like sororities or groups, or whatever. So I'm walking around...and most of the booths are run by  these regurgitated pink fluffy space creatures (most of which, in high-school fashion, turned away from me because I didn't belong to the same pink fluffy mother planet) but one booth had this cool UNITY sign..and some pretty colors and a beautiful tattooed chick behind the counter.
So I go up to her and I'm all like, hey what's this about? unity, sweet what's going on here? 
And I'm standing there while she's explaining how its a division of UGLBT or something like that..and all innocent I ask what is UGLBT and she's all unity gay and lesbian bi transgender and I'm all ok cool..my checks are turning red and I don't want to just walk away so I  take a deep breath and think about how cool gay people are and how maybe it would be a good idea to have a mostly straight (I like boobs, they're pretty.) fag hag on their team so I take the pen and sign up.
So in typical Jenny fashion, I am now a member of the gay/lesbian organization on campus when i meant to find a lightly pinkish mostly shaven soriority.
oh well. fuck it. probably be more fun.

So, regular news...I'm starting to be a little overwhelmed by school. mostly my biology classes. i remember now why i dropped them 2 years ago and said i would only take them during intersession. too bad i didn't believe that i was serious about it when i recalled it registering. i kinda had this superman attitude about school..like oh yeah, im married, im boring..i can do it. but facts r facts....n biology=death.
i guess i'm just going to have to dig my feet in and try to understand at least 70 percent of it.
my first tests are coming up...so we'll see how i do. i conquered statistics tonight. my test  is in 2 days...so...we'll see.

turgay basically got fired from his job b/c he's not a good babysitter (he was teaching mostly 5 year olds, i mean how much can you teach, that's babysitting.). he also got his first roll in an opera (in the states)..quite unexpectedly.
he sent an email to the director about singing and the director wrote him back immediately and asked him to take a small acting roll in Madame Butterfly because someone had quit. I mean a small role. but he was great, he shined as usual and he made lots of contacts and best of all..the director now owes him a favor.
unfortunately they are only doing musicals for the rest of the year.
so he'll need to talk to this other lady he's waiting on, who works with the New Orleans Opera House.
Eh , stuff up in the air.
Which means, yes still, i need a job.
i'll see how my tests go and then see what i can handle.

other than that....really missing my times and friends in turkey.
dilek of course,
tani, the Cans,
Ozge and Gokcen,
etc etc. i have way more friends overseas than i do here. and i fucking miss the shit out of them.
best times of my life.
life is so boring here.

but my turkish class is really fun...im loving it. hopefully i can visit next summer or something. stay with tani, dilek or gokcen.
all for now..
gule gule.

I started this thing that I would write in it every day.
But that's just impossible; life gets in the way.
Some updates:
Electricity has been reinstated in Bourg..which means the last of the family members are packing up and leaving today.
so we can move all of our stuff back into the living room, like our computers and desks and things and stop living in our rooms (yay)
im going to miss them though...i forgot how fun it is being around my sisters, even though they do drive me crazy.
IT's weird...they are 6 and 7 years younger than me.  and I remember a time when they looked up to me and thought i was cool.
man that changed :p
now they know everything and its me that is obviously lost :P
its amazing how much you change just between 21is -26ish. I wonder how stupid and young i will seem to myself when i'm like 35.

so schools going well...lots of scientific information in all my classes...its weird how we learn the same things. in my anthropology, biology, biology lab, human sexuality and statistics we are learning about the same thing. i must have about 5 different definitions of science, research, etc.

Guy has a conference call with his employers today..I'm so afraid they will fire him or something..he complained about the amount of money he is making and his hours in an email.
his pay was delayed half a month because of the stupid hurricane...now we are like dead broke at the moment.
so we'll see...just waiting on news of what they say.
good news...he talked to the lady he wants to practice with. she works for the opera house here and she told him that she was scheduling an interview/audition for him with the director.
so that's good...if he aces that he can get back onstage, and that will make him soooo happy.

its weird now that i'm back at school..things are different. like i used to look for the "punk" or grundge kids or whatever...now they all look so young to me and i actually have to try to make friends based on people's personalities. before i always just assumed that people who dressed like me were my friends. now i don't really dress like that anymore so i'm not really sure how this all works. but i'm not discriminating against anyone. except the cheerleaders of course.
i still don't like them.

my biology lab teacher is like the same age as me. his name is Dr. Wou and he's a hippie. he studied monkeys in africa  or something.
i think we'll get along well with each other. at my last college we used to party with the art and biology teachers.  they were all a bunch of drunks.

things are slowly moving back to normal, i guess.
christine(my youngest sister, she's 20), and her husband, and their 2 year old daughter kylie are here in what was turgay and my living room.
my mom went to bourg to rescue my other sister marion (21) and her boyfriend coteybuck today; they are stuck in terrebonne parish with no gas.
i guess they will stay in the living room downstairs.
turgay couldn't handle it last night; he went for a drive and listened to classical music. i eventually went downstairs and jumped in the car with him(i gave him some time to think). we drove and parked in front of Loyola and Tulane universities. Loyola is very beautiful at night. I told him I want him to go to New York soon. There is nothing for him here except for me..I think he has to go.
I can't be the reason he stays...and I'm too old to give up my life for another person again. I have to finish my degree and then I'll be happy to meet him there. Our roads are twisting away from each other and I need him to follow his dreams also.
I think our relationship is good enough to survive the seperation. I would miss him like hell but like I said, I cannot be the reason he wastes two years of his life here when he could be advancing his career.
he didnt say anything. last time i said it he said "i could never leave you" so i guess maybe he's thinking about it.
he lost a student to another teacher and his paychecks are getting less and less.
i know he has a hard time being in a house with so many people. he's been on his own since he was 15. but we can't afford our own place right now with his stupid job and me in school..and it's only for 2 or 3 weeks till they get the sewage and water and electricity back on in bourg. i hope he can handle it.
i need a job badly, but noone is hiring it seems.
i'll have to look and pour on the charm i guess.
anyway.
lots of unemployed people here.
anyway, going eat lunch with christine and kylie now.

so its over now..
at least the hurricane part.
and we are back in new orleans after a week at my aunts in mississippi.
we stayed there and had a full house generator, a battery operated tv, ate better than we have in a long time.
she learned from katrina.
i actually gained 5 pounds.

but now its over and we are coming home. by "we" I mean my family and my friends.
guy, me, and my parents arrived in new orleans yesterday.
actually, guy and i arrived the night before they did. we spent half the night hosing ourselves naked in the backyard because it was so hot.
last night i woke in the middle of the night and took a cold shower. we read tales of heroes and monsters of ancient greece to each other by candelight.
i thought that this is what people did before electricity.
they let people back into terrebonne parish today.
you had a time frame..from 8-6pm.
my stepdad went there to check on their house. everything looks good, but no sewage, water, or electricity.
they are saying it will stay like that for a few weeks.
trash everywhere though...stinky stuff.
i guess christine and dustin will come and stay with us.
for a few weeks.
we have sewage and water in new orleans..but no electricity.

they are saying we wont be able to go home until thursday. today is monday. that's a freakin long time.
you might say oh jen, that's only 3 days away really...and i'd say, 3 days is a lifetime when you are in someone else's house.
i'm sooo ready to go home.
my aunt is like this really nice lady..until she is not. she got mad at my mom today and we had to hear about it for like a half an hour. no lie. she called my mom a child because she broke something. i wanted to tell her, hey , shutup she's your sister, it's an object, get over it.
she yelled at my uncle yesterday for like an hour because of his dog. shes can be a real bitch it turns out. apparently her stuff is more important than the feelings of her family. i mean its ok to be upset, but to insult for awhile just shows how ugly you are inside.
still..we are in her house.at her mercy and kindness.
i hope we can go home soon.
starting to get reports of the damage.
it looks like a few schools are gone, some other things burned down...fouchon and chauvin are under water. not sure about our house. its awefully close to where we are.
i hope half my family has a home to go back to. i know our house in new orleans, as of now, is ok, as long as that levee holds.
they has some barges break through the levees again. i think the assholes that left the barges there should be sued. by anyone and everyone who has damage to property. they told people over and over days before the storm to get the barges out.
anyway.